Goodbye August (A Month's Worth of Blog)

I have spent the whole month of August feeding bits of information about myself to the World Wide Web. And I must say: so far, so good. While it was not my life's mission to spill the beans on myself when I started this blog, this has been the closest I can get to an autobiography. Besides, I'm still hiding behind the name Crazy Insomniac. I was, and still am, apprehensive to be writing about myself, my thoughts, my deepest secrets over at the Internet. I don't even keep a diary. But I want to think that I'm finally opening up, albeit gradually. Easy does it.

Anyway, my life's not that interesting to warrant a blog. But hey, it's a free world and the blog's free.

August is almost over. And what have I done for the past month? Nothing much. Still waiting for the approval of my job application. And to make the wait tolerable, I read books, watch movies and surf the Net - the usual stuff. I also run errands for my mom in between.

I'm currently reading John Grisham's The Chamber. It's a 1994 novel, I know, but I haven't read this one yet. I'm collecting the author's works, remember? I'm just through with The Broker, and while it may not be Grisham's best, it's still a good read, thanks partly to the witty dialogue.

When I feel lazy opening a book, I pop in videos, but it's mostly Walt Disney these past days - Beauty and the Beast (my favorite) and Aladdin. I'm contemplating Mulan later in the day.

Television? Not much. Internet? Just surfing. I'm looking into Julia Stiles and I plan to write something about my favorite romcom movie The Prince & Me soon. I know my reviews are over at the other blog, but I can't help it with this movie. I'll probably be writing reviews of what I find worthwhile in this blog once in a while.

Anyway, this entry looks like a summary of the past month and a taste of my entries for the next month. Hmm, I think this is going to be a monthly thingy. I hope September will be more eventful so I can have an interesting summary.

My Last (Or Latest) Indulgence

I finally got myself a copy of J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows, the last installment in the phenomenal Harry Potter series. The urge to get myself a copy was so strong that although the book was way beyond the thousand peso mark, I went ahead and got one anyway. Incidentally, it's probably P47 to a dollar, so the book costs approximately 28 dollars. This installment happens to be my first ever Harry Potter book, one I can call my own. I've read all six installments but they are all owned by my cousin. I intend to get myself the complete series, now that National Bookstore, the pricey bookstore I go to, is on sale. There's also a new bookstore at the mall I frequent, Fully Booked. I'll probably be writing an entry on the bookstores I get my books from soon.

I'm not a cheapskate. I'm not wanting when it comes to money. I was just taught to live frugally and I guess I exercise sufficient control when it comes to spending. There are times when I shop impulsively. But then again, I don't shop much. The only time I splurge on clothes is during the Christmas season. Whenever I feel like shopping, it's usually for books, CD's, and Vcd's/DVD's, my indulgences. But even with these, I exercise control. I don't jump right ahead and buy them as soon as they're out on the market. I wait for them to go on sale. As I've said in my earlier entry, I scour second-hand bookstores for quality titles. There are good finds in excellent condition you'd think I bought them from a pricey bookstore. As to Vcd's/DVD's, I wait until they go on sale, then I buy by the bulk. The most expensive DVD I have is 300, bought two weeks after its official release. For the sum of 16 dollars, I get a free movie art book.

I take special care in handling things that you wouldn't hesitate to lend me your rarest titles. Which is why I hate it when people return my stuff and I find pages puked on or discs mutilated - I'm exaggerating, but you get the idea.

My biggest indulgence would probably be completing the Friends series. I got the ninth season, courtesy of my aunt. A series costs about $20, so it'll probably be a slow project as I'm willing to shell out that amount once a month. I got nine more seasons to go, and at the rate of a season a month, my collection of this television series will be completed in nine months. Not bad. Slowly but surely, I always say.

The OC

No, this is not about the television series; I have not watched a single episode of it. Neither is this about the Orange County. This entry is about my obsessive-compulsive behavior, or what I proclaim to be my obsessive-compulsive behavior.

According to my not-so-extensive research,

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is an illness that causes people to have unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and to repeat certain behaviors (compulsions) over and over again. We all have habits and routines in our daily lives, such as brushing our teeth before bed. However, for people with OCD, patterns of behavior get in the way of their daily lives.

Most people with OCD know that their obsessions and compulsions make no sense, but they can't ignore or stop them. (Source)

The article enumerates some of the common obsessions and compulsions, among them 'concern with order, symmetry (balance) and exactness' and 'ordering and arranging items in a certain way', respectively. Admittedly, I have certain obsessions and compulsions that are a bit odd when compared to a 'normal' person, all of which concern order, symmetry and sometimes neatness. I have not gone to the extreme of the behavior, however.

I arrange my CD's, Vcd's/DVD's alphabetically, and get irked when people do not return them in their proper places after borrowing them. I am a strong advocate of the saying 'A place for everything and everything in its place'. But like I said, I have not gone to the extreme. I can live with the fact that my Babel DVD is still in my cousins' room weeks after they have finished watching it.

I plan to arrange my clothes according to color: one shade on one side, another shade on another side...you get the picture. I say plan because my cousin (whom I share rooms with) and I have the intention of overhauling our room. So this color-coding scheme of clothes will have to wait until I buy the closet I want.

I don't know if it's just me, but I never watch a movie sequel unless I've watched the previous installment, the sequel's story having absolutely nothing to do with the previous story notwithstanding. The consequence: I miss out on the movie in the cinemas, but I don't go to the cinemas that often anyway. Not much of a loss there. In fact, I'd rather watch movies on DVD in the comforts of my home.

Finally, I get irritated when items are crookedly positioned - a ball pen on the table, books on the shelf, pillows on the bed. My cousin's idea of fun is to disarrange items in our room and watching me with delight as I fight the urge to fix them. Needless to say, I always lose.

This OC behavior does not extend to my life, I'm so glad to say. Yes, I make plans and I stick to them as much as I can. I do not go berserk however when things do not go as planned. In fact, some people describe me as spontaneous. Now that is not the trait you would want to attach to a person who is a self-proclaimed order freak.

Oh well, I guess people have their peculiarities.

Picky Eater

I love to eat, and I'm fortunate to have been blessed with a body that does not bloat despite my pigging out. I likewise enjoy watching the Lifestyle Network's chefs in action, particularly Jamie Oliver. Boy, that hot guy can whip up dishes in my kitchen anytime. Surprisingly, I hate to cook. There's a teeny weeny cooking bone in my body that says 'can fry eggs.' Sadly, that's the extent of my culinary skills. And nope, I don't have any plans of enrolling in a culinary school ever. I pity the guy I'm going to marry.

As is so clearly mentioned in this entry's title, I am a picky eater. My friends and I like to sample different restaurants, but I only choose those innocent-looking or -sounding recipes on the menu. I don't have an adventurous palate. Once I've tried a dish, and liked it, it'll be that dish for an eternity until I'm brave enough to try out a different one. The safest that someone can offer are burger and fries. For sophistication, it's anything Italian.

Incidentally, I was browsing the McDonald's website and am quite surprised to see that nowhere in the search bar for country/market is Philippines found. I mean, this country practically has a McDonald's in every available nook or cranny. After a few seconds of relentless searching, I found the local McDonald's website. Don't bother clicking on it: HTTP Error 404. Why did I mention this chain? This is where I get my monthly dose of burger, fries and sundae.

I'm contemplating writing over at the other blog about the food and restaurants I've tried and visited. I don't think it'll be effective though, being a picky eater. Besides, if ever I do eat out, it'll probably be the same restaurants, and the same dishes, as before. Hence, there isn't much to write when it comes to topics of food and restaurant. Whatever I've eaten and wherever I've eaten it, I'll just probably write it here as a diary entry.

My Dream House

I want a place of my own, that's for sure. A friend or relative might have mentioned ages ago that it's not really important for the girl in this country to have a place of her own; nor would she be chastised for still living with her parents even when she has reached the age when she should have moved out, as per Western standards. In fact, neither is it important for the guys. It's usual in this culture to have families stay in one roof. I belong to a closely-knit family so I know what I'm talking about. It's less appealing if the guy were still living with his parents and so much more dreadful if you move in with him though. I'd definitely go for a guy who has his own pad but despite the independence, still manages to keep in touch with his family.

I grew up at my grandma's (mother's side) house, and though my parents have moved out and built a house of our own, I can still be found at my grandma's. My family would have breakfast at home, then it was off to grandma's for the whole day. Right now, I'm living with my elder brother and my cousins, all from my mom's side of the family. During my primary and secondary years, I lived with my aunt and her children, and some of my other cousins, who went to the same school I did. So I guess you can say I practically grew up in a crowded house. They may be family, but still, I long for the time when I could have a place of my own,with just me in it. Plus, I have this really crazy idea that having a place of my own means I have somewhere to go to in case the relationship with my guy doesn't work out - sort of a sanctuary.

Anyway, this country's getting a bit liberal so it's not really surprising for a single woman to have her own house. So, how would my dream house look like? I'm caught between a luxurious mansion and a cozy cottage. When I watched The Holiday, I fell in love with Kate Winslet's house. The house and everything around it felt like it ought to be on a Christmas card. I'm picturing myself bundled up on the sofa, with a good book and a mug of hot chocolate. Then when they showed Cameron Diaz's house, I was awed by the design - simple and modern. I envied the media room, with its state-of-the-art flat TV and countless DVD's lining the shelves. So my dream house would be a hybrid of modernity and coziness, with a nasty media room containing a really cool entertainment system, and a cozy study with shelves and shelves of books.

I'm currently looking at different designs here. They got a wide range of collection, many of which caught my eye. It'll be a long way before I get to buy my own house, but I'll get there.

My Favorite Things

I was watching The Sound of Music days ago and, of course, came across the song My Favorite Things. The movie made me pop The Phantom of the Opera and West Side Story into the player, the result of which was my treating myself to an afternoon of musical. While I was watching the Phantom, I tried so hard to convince myself that the lead actor played King Leonidas in 300. Maybe it was the mask and the fact that in 300, Gerard Butler sported a beard, that I found it difficult to see the similarity and gave up angling my head from side to side just to get the view I wanted and convince myself that, yeah, they look the same.

Anyway, my favorite things. There's none, really. Unless I take into account the fact that I'm a collector, although not in the strictest sense of the word. I mean, yes, I collect DVD's and Vcd's of my favorite movies or movies I think are worth immortalizing in my CD cases. I collect Cd's of my favorite music artists. I collect books written by my favorite authors or books which I consider to be good reads. It's not so much as collecting as buying, though. I would want to think that I'm simply buying these things because I want to watch the movies all over again, or listen to the songs one more time, or read the books yet again. I was not a collector to begin with. I just want to collect when I feel like collecting then give up after a few days. The end result: I haven't collected anything that's worthy to be called a collection. Except maybe the DVD's, Vcd's, Cd's, and books I got for myself.

I started buying or collecting DVDs/Vcd's when this guy from somewhere (not from the Philippines; another story for another day) gave me Vcd's as a form of pasalubong - tokens you give to someone when you've gone traveling or when you're from a place different from the recipient. Apparently, he's a DVD aficionado. And I sort of caught the bug. I started buying Vcd's for myself; then I progressed to DVDs. My limited financial resources affect my decision on whether to buy the DVD or just the Vcd of the movie though.

The music came with the former. But I don't buy Cd's as much as I buy DVD's/Vcd's, mainly because I hear the songs played repeatedly over the radio, plus I can download the music anytime. So the choice of Cd's are usually limited to the most favorite artists.

My mom's a bookworm. I don't know if you can inherit that but I've definitely been a bookworm for as long as I can remember, and I'm crediting my mom for it. As much I loved to read when I was younger, I didn't buy books for myself then. So the books I read were borrowed from friends and, of course, the books my mom let me read. Whenever my mom and I would pass a bookstore, she would persuade me to go find a book of my own but I'd always say that I'd just borrow hers when she was through. The collecting started when my cousin's guy friend lent me a John Grisham book. The next thing I knew, I would scour second-hand bookstores for quality titles. I also buy my books from those really pricey bookstores but not if I can help it.

I do plan to start collecting articles; what those articles are, I do not yet know. I'm thinking different Santa Claus images. I'm thinking snow globes. I'm thinking match box cars. Oh, I almost forgot: I got two movie posters, both gifts. I don't know if that'll count. And there's something else: I haven't got any space to put the articles on once I start to collect. The DVDs/Vcd's/Cd's are crammed in one corner of the room, neatly arranged in their cases. The books are stuffed in storage boxes as there's no space for a decent bookshelf. Maybe the reason why I haven't collected collectible articles yet is because I have no place to display them. Or maybe I'm just making excuses for not starting to collect. Or maybe I'm not really a collector collector.

Around The World

In the movie The Prince & Me, Julia Stiles' Paige Morgan had a world map on one side of her bedroom wall. She had color-coded pins tucked to the map - red (I don't really remember the colors), were for those places she had been to, and green were for those she wanted to visit. By the way, the movie is my most favorite in the romcom genre.

Anyway, I like to travel. The extent of my 'travels' though has been a tour of Hong Kong a month before the turnover ten years ago, and that has been the only instance when I went out of the country on a tour. The rest of my travels were local - the recent being a weekend getaway to Cebu and Bohol with my friends, the memorable trek to Sagada with my dad and my brother, visits during summer to cool Baguio, a boat ride to the Hundred Islands of Pangasinan, and a view of the Ilocos Region from the back of my dad's pick-up.

I want to see more of this country and definitely more of the world. I long for the time when I can just jump on the plane and let it whisk me off to some really cool place and I would document everything. I don't want to simply click around with my camera; I want to know something about the place. I want my travel scrapbook to be a travelogue.

Of course my desire to travel is just simply that, a desire. I can't afford to travel. Not yet. But when I do land the job I applied for, I'll be saving a portion of my salary for travel expenses. In fact, the very first thing I'm going to buy with my salary is a digital camera. What's the use of a travelogue without one?

Another idea that fascinates me is to live in another country, alone. Not permanently, though. I know The Philippines will always be home. It'll just be cool to live anywhere but here for a while.

Afraid Of The Dark

I don't how or when it happened; it just did. I am a self-proclaimed night blind person. One day, I was pretty confident walking around in extremely dark places. The next day, I'm afraid of entering a dark room, even with a dim light on.

It makes it quite difficult for me to drive at night even with my high beam on. I couldn't go to the cinemas alone, not that I would want to go alone, takes out all the fun. The point is, in the cinemas, there are lights just bright enough to guide the viewer to his seat. In my case, I can't see a thing. I stoop really low so I could see the stairs, or I have to have someone guide me through the steps.

I share a room with my cousin, so even if the lights are turned off, I could get some sleep. But when I spend the night alone, I leave the lights open, or I have a night light on. Since my cousin is on vacation, I had the lights turned on full blast since Sunday. And to assure myself of a good night's sleep, I watch movies or read books. So far, so good.

Skeleton In My Closet

Several, if not all people, have skeletons in their closets. I know I have one rotting away in mine. I want to get rid of it -yank it from my closet and bury it deep, deep in the ground.

I know of a woman who has more than once posed as a guy over at a chat room. She created this smart, aloof chat guy and soon women were flocking. A few seriously wanted to have more than a chat relationship with this cyber guy, but she was able to hold them all off. Except for this most recent victim. Their relationship transcended the borders of chat rooms. She was able to talk to her, and how the latter manages to sound like a guy I could barely fathom. But they talk. And the talks led to something else, something sexually else.

It's not normal, at least in my standards. Questions abound, the first and probably most pressing is: Should she tell the other woman that she's a, well, woman herself? Or cut communication altogether and live by the adage that what the other woman doesn't know won't hurt her? Naturally, the woman created a whole new universe for this cyber guy she created and she fed it all to her victim, who was gullible enough to believe everything. The victim has even gone too far as to fall in love with the cyber guy.

Another question: Why pose as a guy in the first place? And why take it this far? She should have stopped when things got a bit steamy. I mean, how could one possibly be aroused by the fact that the person on the other end of the line is of the same gender as herself? If you belong to the third sex maybe, then yes, but this woman is straight - likes men and men alone. It's a bit sick, really. No, let me take that back. It's major sick. I don't ignore the possibility that she could be a lesbian, or have the tendency to be, but I know her through and through. My knowledge of her personality makes me confident enough to say that she is straight.

She should kill the cyber guy and erase his universe from her thoughts. She should live her life in the real world and not hide behind these imaginary people her creative mind conjures. Maybe she needs psychiatric help.

I've put this into writing in the hopes that should she feel the urge, she just has to check this blog and fight that urge. I'm burying the skeleton. I hope she doesn't undig its grave.

Home Sweet Home

I'm a homebody. My idea of fun is reading a good book within the confines of my home. Or watching a decent movie in the comforts of my room. Or surfing the net in the safety of my abode. Sure I go out once, maybe twice, a week. And the extent of my going out is visiting the mall located in front of my house, or the one located in the heart of where all the traffic is - a good 20-minute drive from my place. Not to give the impression that I'm a bore, because I'm not, I also have fun with friends. And 'fun with friends' is an occasional lunch or dinner during the weekends, when we can squeeze it in our schedules. But given the choice of hanging out or just staying home, I'd choose the latter, hands down.

I had my share of wild days. Back when I was in college, the hardest liquor I drank was tequila and the wildest adventure I had was the gay bar. My friends and I would go to karaokes located all over the Metro and order hard drinks. Gone are those days. I guess when you age, your interests change. And what was then the ultimate fun is now the ultimate bore. My friends and I prefer a tranquil lunch or dinner in a decent restaurant, then maybe grab a Starbucks coffee later to catch up on gossip.

Anyway, yesterday was spent watching all three installments of The Lord of the Rings in my room. I really love this movie. Hard to believe it has been 4 years since the last installment. Today will probably be another marathon of...Harry Potter perhaps.